domingo, 28 de julho de 2013

sunday night lights

I just changed my bed´s position.
You see, I wanted to look at the stars again. I wanted to stop being so damn affraid of the cold and open the window.
It was a thrilling moment, you know. It has been a while. I guess since Recife I haven´t got myself together enough to do it, until now.
Do you know when you encounter an old good friend that you haven´t visited for a long long time and it gets a little awkward? It was kind of like that. You´re affraid that they won´t remember you so well.
Then, when I finally got the courage and layed down to look up, I didn´t see them.
Oh, I felt so alone. Abandoned, somehow. I couldn´t believe it. They weren´t there.
I understood, though. Why on earth would they stay there waiting for me for this long. After so many days... They glowed, you know. For all that time, I don´t have a single doubt that they glowed and glowed even though I never came back. But someday they had to give up.
I cryed. Like I wouldn´t believe myself. Why? Why did I do it? That was the most precious thing. They were.
I kept looking...and looking...and looking. I guess they didn´t come with me. Oh, that ripped my heart.
They would never comeback. It´s too late...too late for me. That line I crossed, it kept them back there, in the wild were I never should of left, and forgot all about me, as I did with them.
And all I saw was deep dark gray.
Then...I got numb, lost all hope and something happened.
A white and very weak spot. I squeezed my eyes... it got stronger, but not as before. One. Two! Another one! So weak but so there... I´m still there. I´m alive. Yes, I´m still there, in here, inside, and out there.